Tasty Mischief

When it comes to life there should be a standard recipe that one can refer to if need be, and from that several variations can be created based on your current needs or predicament.

Not the one size fits all success recipes being touted by the many self proclaimed, self help gurus out there. Personally I think, just because you been through some stuff and you wrote a book, that does not make you a guru. While I do not diminish someone’s experience; looking at someone else’s experience can only help so much, it cannot be used as a blue print for another’s life…..but anyway I digress.

Today I desperately need a recipe on how to deal with an *%#hole……yes I said it an asshole. Usually I am the “let’s all get along type”, and I know, I know, “you should never let anyone steal your spirit” or “it’s not what happens to you but how you respond”…yes I know. However, there are those days, those moments when you just have to admit that the person you are dealing with is an asshole and you have to say it…sometimes repeatedly.

But is there a special way to do it? And after you have told them off, what do you do? That’s why a recipe is needed.  An asshole recipe or a recipe for assholes. Something you keep handy and can be passed on from generation to generation (cause it seems that the assholes have always been around and they are apparently here to stay).

So I decided to do a bit of research. I googled it…but alas there was nothing. I found a recipe for life..2 spoons of faith, 2 spoons charity…blah blah blah……a recipe for love, a recipe for forgiveness ….more blah. Don’t get me wrong these are great…but not today…I was not in the mood for that.

 I did however find a recipe for a cocktail called  A Flaming Asshole and judging from the ingredients, it can clearly be taken after dealing with one (see recipe below). So I said what the heck..I have made up many recipes before, maybe I should try my hand at this asshole thing.

Asshole recipe (recipe for dealing with one…not on how to make one or become one)

2cups           cut eye (death stare)

1 ½ cup         kiss my ass

1 cup           middle finger  

2 cups          deep cleansing breaths

1 shot          Flaming Asshole (optional)

Method:

Begin with the cut eye. Throw in the kiss my ass and middle finger (this can be done all at once or one at a time). Mix thoroughly. After which, take deep cleansing breaths to help clear all that asshole from your chi.

Take a shot of Flaming Asshole if needed.

FLAMING ASSHOLE #2

1/3 oz 151 proof rum       

1/3 oz tequila

1/3 oz blackberry brandy

Layer in a shot glass in this order; brandy, tequila then rum. Ignite. Extinguish within several seconds and serve.

Disclaimer: If for some reason you read this post and it offends you…odds are you are an asshole (full-time or part-time) or you are THE asshole that came across my path today.

Mischief diva

I received some news a few weeks ago. The kind of news that makes you stop, not because you want to, but because you have to. The kind that makes you feel like the wind just got knocked out of you, and leaves you disoriented. Then as you slowly come to…..you realize that things will never be the same. The kind of feeling that usually occurs when the person who promised to have your back doesn’t…where there are not only broken promises but broken hearts.

With all this on my mind I could not sleep. I woke up and decided to find solace in a glass of wine, or two. But there was no wine to be found . I was beginning to think that the universe was conspiring against me. As I stood staring at my kitchen, looking at everything yet absolutely nothing, I just wanted something to make me feel better. Then I heard it…a little voice inside my  head…well my daughter’s voice actually..”Everything’s better with butter cookies mummy”. And for the first time in my insomnia filled morning I smiled.

Food has always been my solace. However, its the baking and not the eating that calms my nerves and clears my head. Some how putting all the different ingredients together (and most times it may not look like much), then putting it into the oven transforms it…and almost like magic (or should I say mischief) you have created something wonderful and delicious.

I began to think that with all the chaos and different elements coming together in my life…something magical might happen and create somthing new and special..who knows.

So at 1:30 am I decide that maybe she is right Everything is Better with Butter Cookies….well at least there is no harm in trying.

As the smell of my culinary concoction began to bake and filter through the house, I knew that she was onto something. As I sat and waited for my cookies, things did not feel so overwhelming anymore.  Now I don’t recommend butter cookies for all life’s problems but  somehow this time it did the trick.

BUTTER COOKIE RECIPE

1 cup           butter

1 cup           sugar

1 large        egg

1/2tsp        baking powder

1/4 tsp       salt

1 1/2 tsp    vanilla extract

2 3/4 cups  flour

Method:

1. In a large bowl, cream together the butter and the sugar until light and fluffy.
2. Beat in the egg and stir in the vanilla.
3. In a separate bowl whisk flour, salt and baking powder.
4. Gradually add flour mixture to the creamed mixture and beat until just incorporated.
5. Divide  the dough in half and  shape each half into a log. Wrap each log in plastic wrap and place into the refrigerator until firm (for at least an hour or overnight)
6. Once firm using a sharp knife slice cookies about 1/4 inch thick.
7. Preheat oven at 350F, and place oven rack in the center or oven.
8. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper (for easy removal and clean up), and place cookies on sheet about 2 inches
9. Sprinkle colored sprinkles or sugar on cookies before baking (If you are planning to frost skip  this step)
10. Bake for 10 minutes or until the edges of the cookies are golden brown.
11. Remove from oven and place on a  wire rack to cool.

Makes about 4 dozen cookies

I am back to what I love doing; baking and writing. My dream is to one day have a house by the beach where  I  can bake and write all day long, and take my girls  for picnics on the beach. Oh the life. But until then….this is my solace.

Its back to school time and my children were SUPER excited!! I mean really excited. I can only hope that they will always this excited to go to school and the excitement last throughout the school year.

So I thought the best way to end the vacation and begin a new school year was to bake something fun; Cupcakes anyone?

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE cupcakes. They are my favorite thing to bake and eat. I never get tired of experimenting with different flavors.

I wanted to go with something fun so I decided to  bake Rainbow Bright cupcakes. My kids love these!  They are fun to make, fun to look at and definitely fun to eat!

It may be a bit time-consuming putting all the colors together, and may require some patience (especially if you have tiny sous chefs in the kitchen), but believe me the result is all worth it.

For my Rainbow Bright cupcakes I used a  basic vanilla cupcake. I decided to use the vanilla cupcake recipe from joyofbaking .com. Its quick and easy to follow and makes a  dozen cupcakes.

To achieve the rainbow effect I used red, yellow, orange, blue and green food coloring, but you can use any color combination you like, and I do not recommend using more than five colors.

Rainbow bright cupcakes (adapted from Basic vanilla cupcakes  from joyofbaking .com)

1/2 cup unsalted butter (room temperature)

2/3 cup granulated white sugar

3 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

zest of lemon

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 cup milk

2-3 drops Food coloring of your choice

Preheat oven to 350 F and line cupcake tins with paper liners. (White paper liners really show up the rainbow colors of the cupcake).

Beat the butter and granulated sugar with an electric mixer until pale in color and fluffy.

Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the vanilla and lemon zest.

In a separate bowl sift all the dry ingredients.

With the mixer on low-speed, alternately add the flour mixture and milk, in three addition. Beginning and ending with the flour. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed.

Measure 1/2 cup of batter each into five small bowls. Add 2 -3 drops of desired food coloring to each bowl of batter. Mix until the batter is uniform in color.

Fill the liners with batter one color at a time, creating five different layers of batter.

Bake for 17 -20 minutes or just until set and a toothpick inserted comes out clean ( Mines finished after 15 minutes, so know your oven, because these cupcakes definitely dry out if they are over baked).

Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool. When completely cool, frost with butter cream frosting

Butter cream frosting

2 cups confectioner sugar

1/2 cup butter (room temperature)

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 tbsp milk

Mix confectioner sugar, butter and vanilla extract untill creamy. Add the milk and mix untill light and fluffy. Tint frosting if desired and pipe unto cupcakes.

Here I was with my good intentions. Indulge in a little culinary mischief at least once a week and blog about it. Simple right?? Or at least I thought so.

Firstly, the recipe  I picked to begin my baking adventures disappeared. I chose it because I knew my kids would absolutely love it. Pink Lemonade Cookies. Determined to use this recipe I scoured the internet in a bid to find it. But alas I could not find it.  I saw a lot of Pink Lemonade cookie recipe though, just not the one I was looking for. These cookies  were decorated to look like real lemon slices.  I know its out there  so I am definitely still on the lookout.

Secondly, I faced another  challenge -  my oven!  Everything I baked kept getting burnt! After several failed attempts I began to doubt my culinary ability. I tried everything. I lowered the oven  temperature, I changed the recipe, the baking dish..everything!!

Then in the midst of my abysmal reflection of my baking mis-adventures, a friend suggested that maybe it wasn’t me, it was my oven, and maybe I should get an  oven thermometer. A what? Now why didn’t I think of that?

They really say that the most effective solutions are often overlooked because of how simple they are.

I got my thermometer which  only cost me $30.00 TT –  which is great, considering all the money I literally threw in the garbage from all that burnt food.

Upon investigation I found out that the lowest Gas mark of 1 (which equates to a temperature  of 275 F), actually gave me a temperature reading of 425 F!!  I could not believe it!

The oven thermometer was my new hero.

Look there! Is it a bird or a plane? No it Ecko...Coming to save us all from crazy, malfunctioning ovens..

I was so quick  to think that I was the crazy one when all along it was my oven that was crazy.  Either the thermostat is mis-calibrated or it is defective. But the thing is I bought this stove six months ago!

On one hand I felt vindicated – my culinary ego was once again intact, but on the other hand I felt robbed – How dare they sell me this rubbish!

Well now what?

It has been about 3 months since my last post. After my first post I so was excited, but the finding time…no, making the time to post regularly became a huge challenge. Soon the excitement fizzled and with all the responsibilities, things and people I chose to make a priority…..I lost my mischief mojo. It sounds a little silly now that I have actually said it out loud, but I swear that is the best way I can describe it.

I blame myself really. But not in a self loathing kind of way. I realize now that making someone else’s priorities your own is a grave injustice to your self. In the end the only person that loses out is you. You lose that part of yourself that really make you..You. Anyway, the life and times of Francisca Hector is another blog in itself..

I have come to myself, so to say and I have renewed my love for all things mischief (and baking). I have been so committed to reclaiming my mojo that I am getting into all kinds of mischief..in and out of the kitchen….. but like I said kitchen mischief of the best kind!

So here I am..mojo intact…armed with my recipes and my spatula. With my two trusted and “ready for anything” sidekicks (my beautiful daughters) I am more than ready for anything!

Here’s to love, life and fabulous food!

Mischief diva

Mischief can be interpreted in so many ways. Personally, I think it has gotten a bad name over the years. Some of the best invention I am sure was created by someone who society branded as “mischievous”.

Want to know the  best kind of mischief? You guessed it – the kind that makes you go Mmmmmm, and has you licking your lips and your fingers.

In the kitchen there is all kinds of mischief you can cook up. Family mischief – the kind that you cook up with your kids, mom or other family members. “I can do bad all by myself” mischief – this is  for the single folks, or those who prefer to unwind by spending a little quiet time in the kitchen at the end of the day. The Grown and sexy mischief – well  this needs no explanation.

No matter what the reason or the occasion a little bit of mischief goes a long way!

I first got my kids interested in cooking by telling them that it was the best kind of mischief  to get into. Cooking is creating. My kids have some interesting ideas on how creative we should get but if they want to try something, most times I try to accommodate them. This however turned out to be a bit tricky as one my daughters likes to add salt and pepper to EVERTHING. The best part is – not only are you making good food but you are creating good memories as well.

It had been a while since my kids and I did a little mischief in the kitchen. My kids were begging me to make cupcakes. I finally caved in only to realise that we had run out of milk. You should have seen the look  on their poor faces. I decided to make the  next best thing MUFFINS!

I have been using this recipe for ages. These muffins are  really easy to make, and they taste delicious.  Seriously, if you want to impress someone try this recipe. I decided to put a little spin on it by adding a crunchy oatmeal topping.  If you don’t have oatmeal, and you still want a little crunch,  use brown sugar  in place  of the oatmeal mixture.

Apple  cinnamon muffins

2 cups   sugar

2 eggs

1 cup   oil

1 tablespoon  vanilla

3 cups  flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

3 cups  peeled cored and  diced apples (approx. 3 cups)

Topping

1 cup   oatmeal

1 teaspoon cinnamon

2 tablespoon  honey

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Cream together the sugar, eggs, oil and vanilla in a large bowl. Sift the flour,  salt, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg.

Add dry ingredients to the creamed mixture. The batter will be thick. Add the diced apples.

Line muffin tins and  fill with muffin mixture  to the top. Sprinkle the oatmeal mixture over the top. Be careful not to  get any on the  muffin tins.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20 – 25 minutes. this makes about 18 muffins.